‘Limited Beliefs: How they Direct our Lives, Sense of Self and Confidence’.

Blog Post by Lucy Collins

“We don't perceive things the way they are; we perceive things the way we are.” Joe Dispenza.

Our lives are shaped not only by what we do, but also by what we believe to be true about

ourselves, the world and others. Some beliefs we hold empower us and make us feel capable and willing to step into the unknown and try new things, whilst other beliefs act like invisible barriers that can  limit our potential of living life to the full, and experiencing greatness. These are limiting beliefs, which are often subconscious and if left unacknowledged and unchallenged can become the greatest barriers between who we are and the expansive life we could create for ourselves.

Limiting beliefs are the deeply rooted assumptions that we hold about ourselves that dictate our actions and how we interact with others and the world, as I said a lot of the time automatically or unconsciously. They might sound like:

• “I’m not creative.”

• “I’m not good enough to try that.”

• “I could never do something like that.”

  
  

Many limited beliefs originate in childhood, shaped by family, culture, early experiences, or they could even stem from a single comment made by someone years ago when we were feeling vulnerable, or too young to really understand or be able to challenge it.

At a young age we are heavily reliant on parents and caregivers for our survival, and sometimes it can be due to this and the body’s want to protect you, that a limited belief may develop; so we absorb what others around us say or do in relation to ourselves as if that were the whole truth.

 Our subconscious mind is largely formed between the ages of 0-7, and it isn’t until around the age of 8 that our ‘critical faculty’ comes on online (the critical faculty is the mechanism in our brain which filters and evaluates information from the world, acting like a gatekeeper for the conscious mind to decide whether to accept or reject new ideas based on existing beliefs). If you have an established negative belief about yourself, from that point onwards your brain will be constantly primed to seek evidence for that belief as truth from your external experiences.

 For example, if you were a confident child and expressed yourself freely, but a teacher at school didn’t like you asking questions or challenging the way things were done (which is usually out of curiousity, let’s be honest) you may get labelled as being ‘too much’ or ‘difficult’; hearing this message enough can root in this belief, meaning that you then learn to hide or mask this part of yourself to fit in with an external projected belief, constantly ‘seeing’ the evidence of this in your life.  Sometimes limited beliefs can even feel like part of our identity, when actually they are just familiar and what you have ‘known’ for your whole life.

Limited beliefs can creep in without us noticing, and can start to have a serious impact on our sense of self, confidence in the world around us and emotional state. Quite often a struggle we are having at any age in our life isn’t necessarily the issue itself, but more how we are thinking about something, which if we have a false belief about ourself can be rooted in just that.

For example, if you believe you’re not capable of being a leader or being in a more senior position, you might shy away from opportunities to lead, downplay your capability — even when you’re fully capable and may even thrive as a leader or in a different position. Opportunity doesn’t just come to you; when you open yourself up to alternative perspectives and possibilities and from a place of self-assurance, it is that which allows you to grow and seize opportunities, which ultimately you are creating for yourself.

Limited Beliefs within Relationships

Limiting beliefs also influence how we interact with others around us. Believing you’re unworthy of love or respect makes it harder to set boundaries with people, freely express yourself and identify and leave harmful dynamics if they are present. We accept the love we think we deserve, and if we keep ending up in relationships that feel dramatic, toxic or lacking in respect, it may be time to turn inwards and identify the beliefs that we hold about ourself that may be unconsciously manifestingthese dynamics.

Limited beliefs may show up in relationships in behaviours such as people pleasing, constantly apologising, comparing yourself to other, avoiding conflict at all costs and putting your own needs to the side in order to put the needs of others first.

Self-esteem is how you value yourself and your worth, and is the foundation to building a sense of confidence. It is the quiet conviction that you are worthy, capable, and resilient, and the healthier your self-esteem, the better that is within your relationship dynamics.

Nervous System Regulation and Confidence

Your nervous system is the central commanding system in your body and has huge correlations to self-esteem and therefore confidence. Every day your body responds to different situations - external and internal -  and supports you accordingly through the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems.

                 When we spend a lot of time in the sympathetic nervous system (in the fight or flight response) and we have high levels of stress, the body thinks we are in a dangerous situation constantly, producing high levels of chemicals like adrenalin and cortisol. We don’t have the capacity to feel grounded and calm in that fear response, therefore developing a healthy sense of self and confidence is just not possible in this state. It is imperative to develop tools and strategies to support yourself in moving out of the sympathetic nervous system and into the parasympathetic nervous system in order to be able to access a good sense of self and confidence.

Your life rises to the level of the beliefs you hold about yourself.

This work doesn’t happen overnight. It requires awareness, compassion, and conscious rewriting of your narrative. It means bringing awareness to the quiet voice that says “You can’t” supporting yourself somatically, and responding with “Watch me.” It means choosing personal growth over familiarity, and truth over the stories that once kept you ‘protected’ and small.

If you would like to find out more about hypnotherapy sessions and working together, contact me today to have a chat or to book in for an Initial Consultation: lucy.collins@groundedchoicehypnotherapy.com